Author: Violet Rhodes

Last week was saturated with work. (As though there’s many weeks that aren’t!) And now this week is chucked full with something going almost every night. I randomly bake cinnamon rolls and pumpkin pies to sell and had wanted to do that this week again. Wednesday evening I gave that up. I’ve been too busy and snappy with my children, besides not spending enough time with them. Thursday I decided to not be in a hurry. It felt lovely.

I needed a few groceries in town, so decided we’ll all go to the store and then stop at a few little shops in search of a candle, because I really needed one. Reece woke early, so that meant mom’s night was finished too, even if it wasn’t. So I thought, Ok, I’ll get a good start to my day, get the laundry going and surely we can get left for town by 9. Josie was trying to brush out her own hair, the wash needed changed and Reece had another pooped diaper, credit to a case of diarrhea this week. But I thought he was over it. (This was also the reason for waking mom early because his bottom needed assistance) Every time I’m by myself trying to get all of my two children out the door I give a mental sigh of how it must be to get, say, four or five children out the door! Would I even be able to get left before lunch?! Ok that’s a bit exaggerated but you get the idea. Eventually we got left, but not at 9. Sun-mart was not busy, for which I was grateful. If you want to exacerbate the events of shopping with children, go to the store when it’s rush hour.

I’ve been inwardly lamenting that it’s fall and I don’t even have any nice smelling candles to burn! I usually burn soy candles because their not toxic like the average synthetic ones. But those are hard to find and I forgot I was out of my favorite kind, until I went to pull it out and discovered it wasn’t there! Now, the second reason for getting a candle is embarrassing. You know those little gray critters that seek for shelter in cold weather? One or two invaded our house and then just up and died behind closed doors. No, he missed the traps, and definitely hid well, because it smells like he’s behind the dishwasher or under the cabinets where it’s nigh to impossible to get to! And oh what a smelly predicament! I threatened to Jerald I’ll pull out the dishwasher myself to get it out! Unfortunately it only remains a threat because I of course, am not a carpenter. So I succumbed to fresh air and, yes, a candle! The mice know just when to die without being embalmed- usually just before company comes, which was Thursday night. Fresh air? Yes! Essential oils diffused? Yes! Candle burning? Yes! Mouse corps? Uhh… yes still kind of….😤

But it was still a good day! Someone told me this new coffee shop in town has candles. So we trotted down the street to check it out. I immediately decided we would take time to get drinks too. I explained to the lady I’m not big on coffee so she kindly offered to put in half of the usual espresso. That really helped out my taste buds and I enjoyed a salted caramel latte. It’s been my history of getting flopped drinks at coffee shops and feeling disgruntled at the money spent but not enjoyed, so this was an exceptional accomplishment. The children shared a hot chocolate which she only warmed, instead of steaming hot. A second kind gesture. Hey, I believe I’ll patronize this place some more! I also had the chance to visit with an older couple who was in there. Would I have taken time for this if I had been going at the top notch speed I often do?? They loved the children…. Don’t children often make for good conversation?! I also invited them to church for the evening service because we had a chorus group coming to give a program. Oh. And yes, I even found a candle! No, it’s not soy wax as I normally get but since it was direly needed, I made an exception.

Late afternoon the children and I also made a small batch of healthy No Bake cookies. Of course we had a mess because there was chocolate, oatmeal and 20 little fingers involved. Remember: pictures don’t do justice.

This was supper one night this week. Love fall!! Carmalized sweet potatoes and apples and fresh salad with greens off the tower garden! Josie chopped the lettuce and prepped our salads. She felt important and thoroughly enjoys helping make food.

Carmalized Sweet Potatoes and Apples

2 large sweet potatoes, peeled and diced

2 – 3 apples, diced

2 T. coconut oil

1/2 t. salt

2 t. cinnamon

2 T. coconut sugar or brown sugar

Using a cast iron skillet, melt oil and fry potatoes till about soft. Add in apples, stir and cover pan for a few minutes. When both are soft, stir in remaining ingredients. I like using a crisp apple like Fuji or Honeycrisp. I’ll often sprinkle in a little stevia too, if I think it’s not quite sweet enough. Feel free to adjust the salt and cinnamon too, to suit your own taste because that’s how I cook! In fact, I find it a little hard to write out recipes exactly like I make them because its very likely to vary a bit from one time to the next!

This is our aeroponic tower garden. In the winter we keep it inside and grow greens all winter long, using grow lights. If your interested in one, just email me! Because we can certainly get you one!

Some simple fall center piece ideas…

Cinnamon sticks glued onto a candle looks really fallish. I actually used masking tape inside out, just so the cinnamon sticks stuck a bit, then tied jute cord around to hold it on. I topped it off by glueing on a whole anise star. A dried orange or apple slice would look pretty too! It would probably be best to use cinnamon sticks on a battery operated candle, since it could be fire hazardous when the candle burns. But if you just want it to decorate, it’s fine and dandy! I haven’t burned this candle yet. And by the way, these are only the simple, unscented pillar candles.

Isn’t Autumn a wonderful time of the year? Go on a brisk walk and enjoy the brilliant leaves. Breathe deeply and thank God for lungs to breathe fresh air, for eyes to behold the beauty, and for the sense of smell to sniff that unique autumn scent! Savor a drink in the dark quiet of an early morning. Ok. Really. I need all this advice myself. This time, your welcome to listen in on my mind’s lecture. Other times, not welcome. I tend to have whispered sermons when I go on my strolls, discussing with myself and God about whatever concerns me at the moment.

We’re having weekend meetings and I was reminded again in last night’s message of the importance of slowing down! We can’t hear God when we’re going 100 miles an hour in our mind and work! Be still and know that I am God…. Psalm 46:10

The following blog post is written by my sister-in-law Kaylene Rhodes who is currently serving as a missionary in Ukraine.

Welcome to the beautiful land of Ukraine! This country has earned the title “Breadbasket of Europe” because of it’s rich, fertile soil. Much wheat is grown here. There are also many sunflower and canola fields. When the flowers are blooming it is a spectacular sight!

I’m serving at the Shipintsi mission under MIM. My job description is teaching. This doesn’t consume all my time because I have only a few students.  There are many things around though to help with, so sometimes I’m a cook, hostess, or seamstress. I find my life very fulfilling!

This year I have 2 full time students, Nastya and Katya, in grade 9.  They are learning English, and also have some lessons with a Ukrainian teacher in Ukrainian language and history. Last year was their first here, and they started in CLE language and reading. They knew some English and were able to rapidly work their way up. This year they started in 304.  Their sister Anya is starting in level 500, and does her work at home. She comes to school to have me check her work and then do her tests and quizzes. Their brothers, Misha and Bogdan, come as it works in their schedule.

One day a week 2 preschoolers come. Our interpreter is sending his little girl, Solomiya. He sees the need of a Christian education, but their Baptist church doesn’t have a private school. She came knowing basically no English (her mother doesn’t know it well) but is picking it up quickly. Makayla comes from a mission family and doesn’t know Ukrainian. They aren’t able to communicate much with words, but actions and gestures can speak volumes!  We all enjoy the days they come, it adds spice to our small school.

I will give you a little glimpse into our village and location. We’re in southwestern Ukraine, only about an hour from the Romanian border. The gorgeous Carpathian mountains are close to us, and we often take drives and enjoy picnics in the fresh mountain air!

Our village is a typical Eastern European one. Village sounds include barking dogs, crowing roosters, cargo and passenger trains rumbling down the tracks multiple times a day, and cathedral bells ringing to announce a death or holiday.  Weddings and parties can last far into the night, and if you happen to be a neighbor sleep may elude you until things settle down.

There are many interesting sights as well. Every so often a funeral procession will go by school on their way to the cathedral. Special assigned people will go first carrying crosses and other Orthodox emblems. Singers chant mournful songs, the hearse drives slowly, and the people walk behind it.

If it’s a nice day you will probably see a farmer taking his cow to fresh green grass. It may be in some field on the edge of the village , or a patch of grass by the road works as well. They lead the cow by a chain or rope that’s tied around her horns. I’ve never seen one tied around the neck.

Mama goat has access to the road as well as pedestrians and drivers! The kids weren’t tied up, I’m supposing the owners thought they won’t wander too far from mom.

The garbage ‘truck’ goes through the village 2 times a month. They drive a tractor pulling a wagon, and have several men on the back to load and arrange the trash.

The culture is somewhat different than ours. I will give you some examples. In doing this I’m not trying to belittle either culture, I only want to give you some interesting insights.

It’s considered very rude to blow your nose in public.  They will sniff and sniff, but not blow their nose until they can get away to the bathroom.

People aren’t very friendly with strangers, neither are they quick to smile. On the flip side, they are very loyal to their friends. Hugging, kissing, and walking arm in arm are very common sights.

Smoking and drinking are chronic problems. If you know a man who doesn’t do either, you can pretty much assume he is a believer. Woman do less, but it’s not at all uncommon for them. There are a number of drunkards in the village who live from day to day, and drink to drink. Their families suffer from hunger, unheated houses, and other discomforts.

Folks take life in stride and are laid back. Time doesn’t mean as much to them as it does to we Americans. That’s something I have to constantly try to adapt to, as I’m more of a scheduled person.

Gardens consume much time and energy. Every one who is able, plants a garden. And they aren’t small either. They harvest and store loads of potatoes. Fruits and vegetables are canned or dried. Every property has multiple fruit or nut trees. They rarely plant trees just for shade or beauty.

Properties are not large. They may use most of their front yard for a garden if they don’t enough room elsewhere. Each house and its outbuildings are surrounded by a fence and gate. An open gate is a sign that someone has died. I’m guessing most natives know by now they can’t figure that for the Americans!  We leave our gates open frequently, it’s much easier to quickly come and go.

There are no such things as personal space bubbles. People cram into buses (before corona virus came on the scene), stand right behind you in line, etc. It took me awhile to get used to this, but I soon learned you can’t leave a big space between you and the next person in line. Otherwise you’ll lose your spot! Now when I go home on furlough I have to remind myself not to ‘tailgate’ people.

Our region is the most religious one in Ukraine. There are a number of Pentecostals, Baptists, and Seventh Day Adventists. But by far most people are Orthodox. There are two cathedrals in our village, and a number of little shrines on the corners of properties. They will cross themselves whenever they go by any of these. Some will even cross themselves in front of Mennonite ladies because they think they’re nuns.

The elderly are highly respected and cared for. Most often the parents will live with one of the children or maybe in a small house in the same yard. If their children are drunkards or died before the parents, the neighbors will step in and help care for them.

Here are a few other ideas and customs that are deep rooted. Women aren’t supposed to sit on concrete, especially if it is cold, because it will hinder them from having children. Opening windows in the winter time is taboo, even if it’s stifling hot. Air drafts (even in the summer) and cold water will make you sick. You must never give a bouquet with an even amount of flowers, unless it is for a funeral. Recently there was a holiday to remember the day John the Baptist was killed. You aren’t supposed to cut an apple or onion on that day, because it is round like a head.

This past Sunday we had our annual Harvest service. This is a Ukrainian Evangelical Christian custom. People bring fruits, vegetables, and flowers to church. We set up a display. There are 3 other important things to include on the display; the Bible, a pitcher of water, and bread. We have a special service of thanksgiving and singing.  There is a fellowship meal and more singing. The display is then taken apart and the items distributed among the people.

Kaylene sends out email newsletters once or twice a month, and every so often a Ukrainian recipe. If you would enjoy getting the newsletter, recipes, or if you wish to reply to this blog post, you can send her an email at theonlysister1985@gmail.com

I find it ironic that I have been trying to get this blog ready to send out for nearly a week! It normally takes a day or two till I get it wrote up, analyzed and edited by myself and Jerald and then I like to sleep over it at least once. But this time! It’s not because I was having editing problems or such like. It’s because I’m a Mom! Other things totally took priority and I feel as though I’ve been spinning tires in regards to this blog post. Actually, more like the Levite who “passed by on the other side.” Literally! I saw my tablets and books cluttering up my desk on the other side of the kitchen, and I just went on by for several days!

Today I had an excellent morning of sewing while my one year old took a precious two hour nap! In fact, I was able to get so much done in those two hours, that I very sporadically decided to take the children to a nearby park to play in the water. It was a little more than I had planned on, with Reece being a big time water lover. He wanted his life jacket on and then off and then on then off. He loved to just plunge in and splash so hard his face got soaked more than a little, but he was not to be daunted. I finally sat right down in the water with him because it was just too dangerous to leave his side even for a moment; life jacket on or off! I was not planning to get so wet myself, but… And the sand mess!! Oh how wet sand clings for hope of a better life! After swimming, we occupied the play set for awhile so that shook off some sand but plenty came along home. So there were baths and a load of wash. The kitchen sink and bar is cluttered. The sewing rooms a mess. Jerald came home with a 10 lb. box of blueberries and five zucchinis. (Yes these are wanted zucchinis, not secretly dumped in his truck!) I’m glad for the produce of course but right now my fridge is full! I mean FULL. It’s chaotic! And where am I going to put these blueberries?! (Hmmm. Seems to me I read a blog post this summer on organizing your fridge. I should probably check that out because mine needs help about now!) Another thing, it’s well nigh time I ought to be getting some food on the table for supper and here I sit typing away! (It won’t take long to get supper on because my fridge is so full, remember?!) I told Jerald just this afternoon I need one of those machines like The Cat In The Hat with all those extra arms so I can do everything at once! Also, It’s a gorgeous day and I would love to be out mowing yard but that’s not even an option. And I really hoped to get another dress cut out today but it think it will remain a hope unseen. Yesterday was brim full too, but I won’t start on that!

Does this scenario sound familiar? Are you a Mom? (And I know you don’t need to be a mom to be swamped with work, but moms usually are!)

This summer I was gifted the book, My Other Name Is Mom written by Mary Burkholder. Have you read it? I enjoyed it immensely and highly recommend it for any mom! Here are some of the highlights for me.

I’ll begin with a couple sentences from her foreword that really sum the book up well…

* Being a good mom does not mean being perfect. A good mom loves God, cares about her children, and does her best. And that’s enough.

That was so encouraging to me! So often guilt plagues me for whatever reasons as I review my day. And these words just beautifully sum it up. Loves God. Cares about her children. Does her best. Also, let go of perfection! Perfection I’m referring to is perfection in things like house work, cleaning/ organizing, cooking, gardening, sewing and such like. No, not sloppiness but be ok with the less than perfect! We forget we live in an imperfect world and life will, many times, NOT be perfect!

*In chapter 2 entitled If You Don’t Want Children, she discusses our desires for or against children. Of course we want children! (Or we should want children!) It’s just that it’s not always pleasant. No one enjoys labor, a colicky infant, or a fussy, teething toddler. But it’s part of children and we can not go by our feelings! We must be willing to sacrifice our own desires for the good of our children.

* The Christian life is not about doing what we want to do; it’s about giving and serving and finding fulfillment in doing so.

*Chapter 7 called, Romance? What’s That? She writes, The romance level in every couple’s relationship will take a hit when they begin a family. That’s normal. But it doesn’t mean your love life is over. It means you have to make adjustments. The stresses of children in the home can strengthen your bond and teach you more about being selfless. A healthy, stable marriage doesn’t mean endless fun and romance. True love means sacrificing our own needs. It means caring, and speaking civilly when it would be easier to be cross and “touchy” and vent our frustrations on each other.

*Chapter 11 she covers the Supermom Myth. A woman trying to be supermom is tired, lonely and easily upset. Her children are insecure and anxious, overly worried about their performance. Children don’t want a supermom: a regular one is great, thank you. How do we stop trying to be supermoms? A few of her bits of advice on that is;

*Stop striving for perfection. We can improve as we open ourselves to improvement, but we won’t ever get perfect. We need to get this into our heads.

*Be realistic with limitations. This includes accepting help as well as learning to say “no” to outside obligations and interests. Our family and our home should always take priority with us.

*Discern the necessary from the extras. A woman who is trying to be supermom usually ends up doing things that are unnecessary and unimportant.

*Slow down and enjoy life. The wannabe supermom rushes from one task to the next, always planning her next move. Ooh! I didn’t think I was trying to be supermom but this sounds way too much like me. Roaring around at a high rate of speed so I can be sure to get the work accomplished! Even as I was making notes for this blog the other day, I was scribbling so fast I could scarcely read my own writing! Slowing down is definitely necessary for me. But I really do like to make my moves count too!

*In chapter 13 she writes about Mommy Guilt. A cloud of guilt can hang out in the back of our minds, keeping us in doubt as to whether we read enough stories, give enough hugs, cook a healthy enough diet, or discipline enough. Sounds so familiar, right?! Who else out there knows exactly what this is talking about? It is certainly something I struggle with.

*Living in guilt renders us incapable of being effective mothers. If we convince ourselves we can’t do a good job, we are sure not to.

*I really enjoyed chapter 19 on Happy Homemaking. She lists challenges to homemaking as well as some tips to getting organized. I personally love organizing and creating lists but still sometimes feel like a hamster on a wheel. But at least getting things on paper gives my head a bit of a break!! In order to be effective homemakers, we must take care of ourselves. Running ourselves ragged for our families is not managing well. We should not be slaves to the system.

Something else she mentioned that really helped me put things in perspective was this. Family first, food next and then clothing/laundry. Things like cleaning, organizing and sewing can get pushed further down the list. Of course I should know this but I can get so caught up in a project, even something that is necessary such as cleaning or sewing, that I nearly forget myself! And sometimes, because I love to sew or write, or whatever it may be, I’m speeding along at 90 mph, when I need to exercise discipline to stop and go cook supper! ( like, right now! Hey, I’m going in just a minute or two!) Food for my family is more important. What I’m doing at the moment, can usually wait.

The last portion of the book she includes a Homemaking survey on various aspects. I love practical tidbits like that and found it interesting and helpful!

I enjoyed this book so much that I have decided to do a drawing and give one away! So, here are the rules…

1. One entry per person- this could be yourself or a busy mom you know who would enjoy the book

2. Send an email to jeraldsflower@gmail.com with the name and a mailing address.

3. The book will only be shipped within the US or Canada

4. Entries must be submitted by Sunday, August 16, 2020

This book can be purchased here or at your local Mennonite bookstore