Over the years I’ve struggled with depression. Overall, I’m much better than a couple years ago, but it still crops up in late winter or when I battle insomnia, physical issues or pain. I had all this going on days before leaving for our anticipated Florida vacation. (Yes, I know, that alone should have boosted my spirits, and I was grateful, but its not like it cures a brain in despair when it sets in.) Thanks to God, and 3 chiropractor treatments in about that many days, I felt well by the time we left. Jerald too was dealing with various issues in health and business. Not being strong mentally, I can barely keep my head above drowning when my sanguine husband gets down. We just had alot going on that felt like adversity. When my brain is weak, it fogs my vision with a pitifully bleak lens. While in Florida, I aspired to write a poem, (albeit, rather elementary) of the two extremes of colors I saw.
God’s Canvas
My waking thoughts focused on pain,
Gloomy doubts hounded my brain.
The murky depths sent my spirit sagging-
No joy to be found with morbid thoughts nagging.
There was abundance of sighing
And a boat load of crying.
With sundry needs beneath my head,
Tormenting fear imagines me dead.
Desperate pleas for health and healing-
“God, please remove these fears that I’m feeling.”
The only colors that February day
Were varied shades of brown and grey.
One week later- how could it be?!
The rainbow of colors God showered on me?!
Brilliant red berries and geranium flowers
The green of the palms in stately towers
In vast expanse the deep blue lies
Of ocean water and clearest skies
Hibiscus and sunshine with soothing rays
Yellow brings cheer these February days
Orange in the citrus and sun in the west
With flying colors, God’s paints are the best!
We were able to suprise my Mom who was also in Florida for a few weeks. That was such a highlight for me! Our time there was an absolute balm for my soul. It was amazing how God worked out the details about the trip and provided that we could even go. Such a privilege and gift from Him for sure. While I realize we can not measure God’s love based on His gifts to us, this felt like a huge God hug!
of windowsills and breezy hills 